Weirdness ...

People are always telling me that I look like Lynda Carter. Personally I have never seen any resemblance, other than the dark hair and the blue eyes. I mean, I've never owned a golden lariat or blue silk hot pants. But tonight, as I'm watching Law & Order SVU, she shows up as the victim's mother and HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! I do look like her!!! Scared the crap out of me ... LOL

The Need To Blog ...

It seems I am turning into a blog slut ... first the new look and now four posts already this year! I've decided that it is easier to post a "bloglet" than try to post something profound. So, if you're expecting a Nobel Prize winning blog, this isn't the place. Haha! I have a couple of things on my mind so here goes.

When I first started coming to Vallarta as a tourist, I was always amazed/impressed/flattered when people remembered me from the previous trip and wanted to stop me on the street and chat. I found this to be a charming practice. When I made the decision to move here, it gave me some comfort knowing that I was already acquainted with people here and they would undoubtedly become my friends.

After I started working, I had to punch a time clock and this meant showing up at work on time or be penalized with a monetary fine (I kid you not!). So all that socializing on the way to the store had the potential to cost me money. Since I was only making 23.3 pesos an hour, I started leaving home earlier in high season, knowing that my path to work would be littered with friends wanting to chat me up along the way.

Then the gossip started. "I saw you on the street talking to a guy the other day. Is that your boyfriend?" PLEASE! The rumours continued and it really started to irk me. There is nothing more disconcerting than someone you barely know regurgitating your schedule to you, three days later. I can barely remember what I had for breakfast and you want me to remember who I said "hi" to last week? Ain't gonna happen.

The above rant (rantlet?) is background for the following story. Last night I was out with my Ladies Group ("girls" only dinner, once a week, different restaurant, lots of giggles). There were 14 of us at Coco Tropical, seated at a long table. I was at one end with my friends, Irene and Marion, who had just arrived from Ontario. We got to talking about my trip back to Canada with my friend Myles.

"So I hear Myles has a girlfriend", said Irene.

"What? That's news to me!" I said.

Marion chimed up and said, "Yes, he definitely has a girlfriend."

"Where did you hear this?" I asked.

Irene said, "We met Jack at CCs on the weekend and he told us."

"I don't think Jack has his facts straight Irene. I would know if Myles had a girlfriend ..." I said.

"Jack told us all about her. She used to be a doctor's wife." Marion added.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, the penny dropped. I had seen Myles with a beautiful blond on Sunday night. I turned and yelled down the table, "Beverly, are you Myles' new girlfriend?"

Beverly, shocked at the question, said "No! Of course not! We're just friends!!!"

The rumour mill in southside Vallarta works at an alarmingly fast clip. If I could only figure out a way to harness that power, I might be able to take over the country (or at least get them to stop playing that stupid Alice song at Andales!). LOL BTW Jack, if you're reading this, expect an email from Irene sometime after her return to Canada. If you're going to spread gossip, be prepared for the backlash! Haha!!!

New Year, New Look

You might be thinking that you've stumbled across a new blog but it's still me ... *smirk* I've made a few changes to the look of my blog for a couple of reasons. One, I get bored easily and in order to keep me interested in my own blog, I had to spruce it up a bit! Two, I've been looking at other people's blogs and, by comparison, mine sucks. So I've changed the template, added some links and few more bells and whistles. I hope you like it. I think it's magical ...

Can You Say Tlaquepaque?

(THIS IS A CONTINUATION OF "THE WEDDING" BLOG FROM DECEMBER 8TH.)

On Sunday morning, Marty was up bright and early, checking on places for breakfast. Unfortunately, the mall was still closed and didn't look like it was going to open any time soon. Anxious to be on our way, we decided to load up the car and drive to Tlaquepaque. Unable to find a proper map, we were relying on a tourist map, written in Spanish, from the hotel lobby next door. Not exactly high tech but we were confident we could figure it out. Four mature adults, eight sharp eyes and no extreme hangovers. We were all pretty hungry though so food was in the forefront of everyone's mind as we set out.

I knew, from looking at the "map", that Tlaquepaque was south and east of our location so we headed in that direction, towards downtown Guadalajara. Marty reminded us that the date was November 20 or El Dia de la Revolucion (Day of the Revolution) and if Guad was anything like PV, the streets would be crowded with people in the parade. We were partly right. The streets were busy with some kind of bike-a-thon and there were detour signs everywhere. We were constantly thwarted by the police, sending us north when we wanted to go south. Finally, we turned right, somehow bypassing the mess downtown and headed towards the suburbs.

Tlaquepaque is essentially an arts community, located on the southern fringes of Guadalajara, next to TonaLA (accent on the last syllable). Tonala is where they make a lot of the touristy-type crafts (i.e. junk) you see for sale in Vallarta. I found it to be a bit more rustic and industrial than Tlaquepaque and therefore, not as pretty. So when I asked my travelling companions where they wanted to go, they all voted for Tlaquepaque! We went past a huge seafood market and then found a bus with the word "Tlaquepaque" written in the front display window. So we followed that for awhile, past some HUGE palm trees (at least 10 stories high!) and then finally located Ninoes Heroes which took us right to Calle Juarez which disects central Tlaquepaque.

Wonders of wonders, we found a parking spot right away and a restaurant open, serving breakfast across the street. Service was slow and the food was mediocre but once sufficiently satiated, we grabbed a few necessities out of the car and headed towards the main square. A couple of yards from the car and the restaurant, I spotted a sign hanging over a green metal door that said "La Media Luna B&B". Since I had done a bit of research before the trip, it sounded sort of familiar. It didn't look like much from the outside, but I encouraged my friends to walk in with me and look for someone in charge. I met the owner, Josephina, who informed me that she had two rooms available for a cost of $320 pesos (one bed) and $550 pesos (two beds). We were interested, so she called one of the young men working there to take us up and show us the rooms, which were in the process of being cleaned.

The larger room overlooked the main square ("El Parian") and had two beds in two rooms with a TV, closet and bathroom. We decided to take the rooms so I paid for them in cash and we left to enjoy our day, promising to return after lunch when the rooms would be ready. We had read signs on the way into town that there was an expositon of Latin American artists at the Refugio so we headed there with Josephina's precise directions. After paying the $10 peso coverage charge, we entered into a huge congested hallway, lined with artesans and their crafts. There were colourful wool sweaters from Equador, silver jewellery from Columbia, woven fabrics, clay pottery, wrought iron lamps, blown glass decanters, handcarved wooden figurines, straw handbags, cotton hats, stone sculptures, etc.etc.etc. As the morning progressed, the crowds grew larger and passage became almost impossible through the narrow hallways.

We bought our few treasures (Peruvian pottery for Heidi, Ecuadorian sweater for Missy, woven change purse for me, iron key holder shaped like bull horns for Martin) and escaped out into the afternoon sunlight. Martin offered to take our packages back to the B&B while we continued shopping. We thankfully dumped everything into his willing hands and headed out to Calle Independencia, better known to me as the pedestrian mall. This street is a "walking street" with traffic only at intersections running north and south. The street itself stretches for five or six blocks and is filled with art galleries, decorator shops, and stores selling jewellery, leather, clothing, tequila, glassware, stoneware, iron works, etc.etc.etc. I found a chiminea (small chimney for burning candles) for only $90 pesos!!! Missy bought a beautiful cotton embroidered top for $160 pesos.



Marty eventually found us without too much difficulty (I think he just followed our squeals of delight) and we all agreed that shopping is very hot and thirsty work. So we ducked into a really cool bar/restaurant/shop on the corner and ordered something cold. The girls had margaritas, I had a tequila ceasea and Marty had a beer. The place was very nice (wish I could remember the name) and they had a HUGE bar with many, many tequila selections. In addition, there was a BIG chair in which we all posed. After drinks, we headed back to the hotel and I was tired so I laid down for a while. The other three went out to tour around the Parian and listen to the mariachi. After about an hour, they returned and we changed to do out for dinner. It had cooled down substantially and after a stunning sunset, we wandered back outside and over to the pedestrian mall for dinner.



My last time in T.P., I ate at El Patio but I didn't particularly enjoy it. The food was mediocre Mexican (the kind they feed to tourists who don't know any better), the place was crowded and noisy, they had birds in cages in the direct hot sunlight with no water. I spent more time "watering" the budgies than I did eating! So I nixed El Patio and we kept walking. We found a jewel of a restaurant called Casa Fuerte (www.casafuerte.com). It is a Mexican restaurant but the menu contains authentic Mexican cuisine from all over the country, including many dishes from colonial times. Add an excellent wine list and we were all extremely pleased with our choices for dinner. Although the restaurant was closing shortly after our arrival, the service was attentive and expeditious without making us feel rushed.

After dinner, we strolled back to the B&B slowly, savouring the sights and sounds of this beautiful place. We had some wine with us (coincidentally the same wine they served us in the restaurant!) so we popped that open and sat outside on the terrace at the hotel, talking about the weekend. The other guests started rolling in and most of them were exhibitors from the craft show. The night wound down and we retired relatively early. I slept like a dead person and woke the next morning refreshed and hungry. Breakfast was served outside, on the same terrace we enjoyed the night before and consisted of coffee, fresh juice, fresh fruit and french toast. We ate, tipped, loaded up the car and left for our drive back to Vallarta.

Clean Bill Of Health

My computer is fine. You might recall that I had some problems with it in early December (exactly a month ago today!). The hard drive was making a knocking sound and I couldn't turn it off. Anyway, after getting in touch with my warranty providers in Canada, I arranged for a friend to pick up a replacement hard drive in Toronto and bring it down to me. However, when my "geek" friends here checked my hard drive, it seems fine. They defragged it and no bad sectors. No viruses either. So I'm good to go online and not quite so panicky ...

Personally, I'm feeling better too although I still have some residual cold symptoms. In particular, my left ear plugs up thoroughly whenever I blow my nose and takes hours to unplug. Other than that, I'm feeling fine, have all my old energy back and even made it to the gym twice last week. No New Year's resolutions for this Goddess. I start thinking about making changes in and around my birthday, not on a day that everyone else says I should.

Speaking of days when everyone acts like an idiot, I would like to start a movement to boycott Xmas. Don't buy me anything because I don't need anything and don't expect me to buy you something you don't need either. Instead, give the money to charity or better yet, give the gift of your time to charity. And why do we wait for one day out of the year to be generous? I don't need the media to tell me when I should spend the day with my family or friends. December 25th is crock! I'm so over it ... whatever it once meant has been lost. I'M NOT DOING IT ANY MORE.

Hah Bumhug!

Nothing is inspiring me to blog right now. Xmas is not my favourite time of year so maybe I am just willing myself to get through it. Actually it is not so bad down here. There is not so much of the crazy commercialism that goes on NOTB unless you happen to spend your time at Walmart, which I don't.

I've also been suffering from a head cold for the last 5 days (probably brought down by a tourist!) so I've been laying low and listening to my body when it tells me I need to sleep, which is often. I haven't slept well the last two nights so today I was able to sleep for more than 2 hours without earplugs regardless of the construction noises next door. Now that's tired!

I'm more involved in the annual R.I.S.E. For Hope Fundraiser on February 18, 2006 and have been asked to Chair the Food and Beverage Committee. Not sure what I'm doing but I guess I'll figure it out! FYI, the benefit is being held this year at Marina Vallarta Golf Club and the price is $450 pesos. All food and beer/wine is included. Contact me for tickets.

That's it for now! Sorry it's so short but I'm feeling tired again. All the best to you and yours over the holiday season. Drive carefully and remember those less fortunate than you.

Warning About Internet Dating!!!

MAN DATES GAL ON INTERNET FOR SIX MONTHS -- AND IT TURNS OUT SHE'S HIS MOTHER!
Friday December 9, 2005
By Grace Green

MARSEILLES, France -- Skirt-chasing playboy Daniel Anceneaux spent weeks talking with a sensual woman on the Internet before arranging a romantic rendezvous at a remote beach -- and discovering that his on-line sweetie of six months was his own mother!

"I walked out on that dark beach thinking I was going to hook up with the girl of my dreams," the rattled bachelor later admitted. "And there she was, wearing white shorts and a pink tank top, just like she'd said she would.

"But when I got close, she turned around -- and we both got the shock of our lives. I mean, I didn't know what to say. All I could think was, 'Oh my God! it's Mama!' "

But the worst was yet to come. Just as the mortified mother and son realized the error of their ways, a patrolman passed by and cited them for visiting a restricted beach after dark.

"Danny and I were so flustered, we blurted out the whole story to the cop," recalled matronly mom Nicole, 52. "The policeman wrote a report, a local TV station got hold of it -- and the next thing we knew, our picture and our story was all over the 6 o'clock news. "People started pointing and laughing at us on the street -- and they haven't stopped laughing since."

The girl-crazy X-ray technician said he began flirting with normally straitlaced Nicole -- who lives six miles away in a Marseilles suburb -- while scouring the Internet for young ladies to put a little pizzazz in his life.

"Mom called herself Sweet Juliette and I called myself The Prince of Pleasure, and unfortunately, neither one of us had any idea who the other was," said flabbergasted Daniel.

"The conversations even got a little racy a couple of times.

"But I really started to fall for her, because there seemed to be a sensitive side that you don't see in many girls.

"She sent me poems she had written and told me about her dreams and desires, and it was really very romantic.

"The truth is, I got to see a side of my mom I'd never seen before. I'm grateful for that."

When starry-eyed Daniel asked Sweet Juliette to send him a picture, Nicole e-mailed him a photo of a curvy, half-clad cutie she'd scanned from a men's magazine.

"The girl in the picture was so beautiful, I begged Juliette to meet me on the beach -- and Mom said yes," he recalled. "Mom says she was falling for me, too, and she just wanted to meet me, even though she knew I'd be disappointed when I saw her.

"As for me, I figured I was going to find the girl of my dreams.

"I guess that's about as wrong as I've ever been."

Daniel admits he and his mother could do little but stammer and stutter around each other for days after their cyberspace exploits came to light. And his father Paul -- Nicole's husband of 27 years -- wasn't too happy when the story hit the news and his beer-drinking buddies made him the butt of their jokes.

"Dad was ticked for a while and he forbid Mom to talk to anybody on the Internet ever again," said embarrassed Daniel.

The Wedding -- Part Two

Once we were all gathered outside and all the photos had been taken, people started leaving for the hall which was in Zapopan, a suburb of Guad. Cliff and Leticia arranged with relatives and friends to ensure that all their Canadian guests had rides. Guess who we ended up with? JJ!!! He consulted with Leticia and others to make sure he knew where he was going before we all piled into his car. The drive took over 20 minutes because traffic was really bad in Guadalajara (Saturday!) but we finally reached out destination -- sort of. We knew we were in the right neighbourhood so when a parking spot loomed ahead, JJ did his best imitation of parallel parking, Mexican style. LOL Happy to have finally arrived, we all jumped out and starting walking away, looking for the hall. Martin found it in about 30 seconds.

The hall is hard to describe so I hope the photos turn out well. It was dark but welcoming, well lit with high ceilings and an old fashioned feel about it. Big mirrors and paintings adorned the walls, along with candle sconces festooned with royal blue ribbons and candles. In addition, the table were all set with glasses, cutlery and a huge centrepiece with flowers, ribbons and fresh pine branches for accent. Up on the wall was a huge Mexican flag next to a huge Canadian flag. I think Cliff mentioned that the Canadian flag was a little bit bigger and he seemed very proud of that fact. When we arrived, a few guests had trickled in but no one was drinking. Apparently they were all waiting for confirmation that the bride and groom were married "legally" at the civil ceremony (which I knew wasn't happening because of a screw up with the paperwork).

Taking matters into my own hands, I asked one of the waiters for a corkscrew. I had brought wine with me (at Cliffie's suggestion since none was being served at the wedding). A really, REALLY young waiter (I think he was 12 or 14 years old) returned with an ice bucket and proceeded to place my red wine into it. Heidi jumped up and grabbed the bottle back. Again, I explained that I needed at corkscrew which, truth be told, I didn't know how to say in Spanish so I said "the thing to open the bottle" which he apparently understood. Returning a few minutes later with a corkscrew, he again took the bottle and seemed puzzled at how to unwrap the outer layer around the neck and over the cork. Again, Heidi came to the rescue, grabbing the bottle and a knife, slitting the cover and ripping it off in one movement. The waiter stood by transfixed and handed over the corkscrew, finally deciding that we knew more than he did.

Unfortunately, the corkscrew was broken -- the "screw" portion was about 1/2" long, not the usual 2" required to unplug the cork. Desperate for a drink, I shoved the broken corkscrew into the bottle, dislodging the cork down into the bottle and poured some wine into the tumblers provided. It was delicious! Thank you once again, Bob and Kathy K., who brought the wine to me from Vancouver, Washington. (www.classicalwines.com/bodegas/haza.htm) With respect to the booze at the wedding, Cliff was told that Leticia's family didn't drink (except tequila) so she was planning to provide one case of beer for the wedding. Cliff knew that there were going to be CANADIANS at the wedding (and Martin) and bought six more cases. He told me afterwards that there were only four beers left at the end of the night! LOL

We toasted and danced before we ate. The appetizers were Mexican and the main course was roast beef. We toasted and danced after we ate. In fact, we danced quite a bit and whatever calories I took in, I'm certain I danced out. We enjoyed meeting all of Leticia's friends, who insisted in coming over to our tables and introducing themselves to all of us. It was very sweet and really helped to bring the two cultures together. When they left the reception, they did the same thing so when we left, we followed their example and went to every table in the hall, hugging and kissing everyone goodbye. I think we got home around midnight. The highways and streets in Guadalajara were virtually deserted. I was surprised because everyone has been telling me how big the city is and how many people live there. Other than rush hour, late Saturday afternoon, I didn't really find it that busy, big or overwhelming. Actually, I found it rather underwhelming and it made me miss Toronto even more.

When we got back to the Motel Puerto Vallarta, all was quiet, save for the transport trucks zooming by. After we came in the door, I locked it and, noticing that the doorknob seemed kind of loose, I dragged one of the heavy wooden armchairs over in front of the door. Two seconds later, I could hear Martin doing the exact same thing in the room next door! After rubbing our tired feet and inserting our ear plugs, Heidi and I were ready for bed. The room was cold but we both slept like angels. Must have been all that dancing! LOL

The Wedding -- Part One

My friend Heidi was here for the week of November 18 to 25 and we went to a wedding in Guadalajara one day after her arrival. I've been trying to write this blog ever since! Our friends Martin and Missy were also in Vallarta for vacation and to attend the wedding, so the four of us rented a car from the Vallarta airport and drove to Guad together. FYI, the car was $125US (3 days, unlimited mileage), tolls were $540p and gas cost less than $50US. By comparison, the bus would have cost us $770p each return, so having the car was economical and fun. Plus we felt like we had more freedom of movement, and not having to rely on public transportation was a blessing.

It took us 4.5 hours to drive to Guad from here, after coffee and bagels for breakfast at Cafe du Soleil on Constitucion. The owner Amy was aware that we were coming in early so she was there, in spite of their car breaking down, to make us something to eat before the trip. Next time you are in Vallarta, check them out! They are on the block between Carranza and Cardenas. Open 7AM to 5PM. Great specialty coffees (regular too!), breakfast, lunch and sweets.

Anyway, after filling up our tummies, we hit the road around 7:30AM and arrived at the Motel Puerto Vallarta in Guadalajara around noon. The ride was uneventful save for my extreme car sickness. Oh well ... I've been suffering since I was a child and some things never change. LOL Other than the name, the motel was unforgettable. The price was right (only $330 pesos per room for double occupancy) but the rooms were dark and cold. I remember better showers in the barracks during my basic training and the walls were paper thin.

After a quick lunch at the mall next door, Heidi and I decided to look around. It was a novelty for us but we were both tired and still a little bit hung over from her "welcome to Mexico" drinks the night before so we decided a siesta was in order. We had arranged to meet everyone at the bar in the lobby of the hotel next door at 4PM. The wedding was at 5PM in a beautiful church downtown Guadalajara. Of course, I can't remember the name of it now and I could look it up on the invitation (which I kept) but suffice it to say that it was an old fashioned Catholic church with a lot of saints on the walls. The inside was lit with candles and festooned with calla lillies ... very beautiful.

When we arrived, Leticia was there, sitting in the backseat of a car outside the front of the church, waiting for her groom. Cliff was late and she wanted to know why. So I got on my cell phone to call him only to discover that his driver, who happened to be Leticia's cousin Jose or Jesus (or JJ as like to call him now!) was lost! You have to understand that JJ is native to Guadalajara. Jesus was supposed to pick Cliff up outside the hotel lobby and Jose was inside the hotel lobby, socializing with us. Imagine my surprise when I learned they were one and the same person! No wonder Cliff was miffed. Or maybe it was just pre-wedding jitters since Cliff is normally a pretty easy going guy.

Anyway, he finally arrived down the street from where Leticia was waiting for him and promptly lost his cell phone. So when I walked up to the car, he asked me to call him again so that he could find it. So I did -- twice. LOL I think he was a little discombobulated; it was an important day in his life. We all eventually made our way into the church and the wedding commenced, in English and Spanish. Typically, Catholic ceremonies last about an hour and this one was no exception. After the service, when most people had exited the church, a man pointed to my friend Missy and motioned for her to come up the altar. Being a good girl, she did and was given a huge flower arrangement to take to the reception hall.

Who ... Me?

I am re-evaluating my favourite horoscope site in view of yesterday's prediction:

'Stop worrying, relax and enjoy yourself. That's an order. Do as you're told.' Er... Well, then, OK, I take it back. I have no right, as your astrologer, to start speaking like an army sergeant-major... but, then, I notice that, lately, you have been surprisingly acquiescent in the face of bullying behaviour. Some people keep criticising you, others keep insisting that you do as they suggest. Partly because you want to be nice, partly because you lack confidence, you are tempted to agree with them all. Don't you dare!'

That doesn't sound like me, AT ALL!!! LOL

It's going to be a busy week for me. On Monday, I had lunch with the "girls" at Chiles. We try to do this every Monday in order to catch up on the previous week's events, gossip, bitch about men, etc. A lot of fun but only if you're a girl. Then Monday night, we finally had the auction for Bob, the gentleman who passed away earlier this year. Lynnda Lucas, the owner of Que?Pasa, cleaned out Bob's apartment and organized his belongings so that they could be sold to help cover the medical expenses incurred during his hospital stay. Anyway, I didn't do much but I was happy to participate. After the auction, a girlfriend and I met another friend at the Cine Bahia to see Vanity Fair, starring Reese Witherspoon. We all enjoyed it but the few Mexicans in the theatre walked out half way through. Maybe it was the heavy British accents ...

On Tuesday, the weather was cool (25C) and cloudy so I didn't go to the beach. I dicked around at home all day and then met some ladies for dinner at Daquiri Dick's. We are trying to do this at least once a week, usually on a Monday or Tuesday night, and pick a different restaurant every week. Next week we're going to Mezza Luna so if you're interested in joining us sometime, send me an email! Today is another cool, cloudy day so again, no beach for me! I went to the bank and then stopped at a pub just over the bridge called Cary's and met the owner, Cary. Nice guy from Colorado who has a very nice place! Once I've eaten there, I'll let you know what I think. He says he does a fantastic filet mignon on the grill for only 135 pesos so we'll see ...

Tomorrow, I'm out at the Refugio for our first meeting of all the volunteers who want to be involved with the fundraiser in February. Now that I'm not working, I have more time to spare so I am looking forward to doing this again. I worked too much last year to do anything except participate in the Viva Diva fashion show. Then tomorrow night, I am taking some first timers downtown to view the processions to the Church. And then we will be partaking in the food offered by the street vendors -- tamales, pozole, churros, etc. YUM! Can't wait!

Anyway, that's it for now. Sorry it's just a quickie but my hands are still sore.

I'm All Blogged Down

I don't know if anyone's noticed that I haven't been blogging a lot lately. I have any number of excuses but the main one is I am trying to avoid using the computer in order to spare my hands, arms and neck. I am still experiencing pain, aches, tingles, etc. in my upper extremities. It seems to worsen the more I use the computer. *sigh* So I tend to go in spurts and starts -- checking my email, posting on the Vallarta Scene bulletin board, checking my bank balance and then signing off. Anyway, I apologize to anyone who keeps checking here for new blogs. I've been working on a long blog/trip report of my trip to Guadalajara but so far, it isn't finished. Stay tuned for that one! Hopefully, I will have photos to go with it soon.

My other whiney-assed problem (if you're still listening) is the construction workers next door. They are renovating the three storey building on the corner. And by "renovating", I mean knocking down walls, jack hammering concrete floors, ripping out re-bar, etc. Imagine a lot of banging, pounding, drilling, tile cutting, buzz sawing, etc. All that I can handle because it is part of the construction process but lately, the workers have decided they need MUSIC to swing their hammers by so ... someone brought in a boombox. Again, that in itself is not too bad. I don't mind a little music. HOWEVER, I do draw the line at ear-splitting banda music from 8AM to 6PM, seven days a week (yes, they're working Sundays too!). It's so loud, I keep checking my ears to make sure they are not bleeding. I can't read. I can't write. I can't take a siesta. I can't listen to my own music. I can't watch TV. I can't talk on the phone. I can hardly hear myself think!

I tried to call my landlord to see if there was anything he could do but he couldn't hear me over the music! So I might have to call in the "big guns". My friend "Big Greg" is a big, African American ex-pat who happens to be totally fluent in "construction worker" Spanish. LOL I'm going to ask him to be my enforcer for a day and have a casual chat with those guys!

I don't know if I mentioned in a past blog about one my bestest gal pals and fellow Goddess, Heidi, shaved her head for charity. They had a big campaign for The United Way at the law firm where she works and someone came up with the idea that some of the lawyers should offer to shave their heads in order to raise some money. Heidi has always wanted to shave her head (who hasn't?) and jumped into the fray. After raising over $700 for the cause, some political SNAFU resulted in the "shave off" being called off. But Heidi was undaunted! With all that money for charity at stake, she decided to go ahead with her plan and went downstairs to the barber shop in her office tower, downtown Toronto, and told him to "take it all off". The barber, at first, wasn't sure she was serious but after she explained the situation, he agreed and started buzzing away. Somehow the Toronto Star got wind of the story and ran it as part of an article on charitable acts. They called it a "hair raising" way to raise money. And while in Vallarta last month, my hairdresser bleached her hair an incredible plantinum blonde!

Anyway, her 15 minutes of fame has now expired so I just wanted to give her another public pat on the back for doing such a fabulous thing. Well done amiga!!! You're such a Goddess.

I Met The Marlborough Man In A Gay Bar

One of my favourite hang outs in PV is La Noche, a small, intimate gay (but hetero-friendly) bar here on L. Cardenas. One of the bartenders is from Toronto, the martinis are KILLER (remember my birthday?) and the decor is very cool. The deep Chinese red walls are adorned with a huge wrought iron mirror and a funky candelabra hangs from the ceiling. Happy hour happens every night between 8 and 10PM. Beer is ALWAYS 2 for 1 ($25p for two). I know I can walk in alone anytime and see someone I know. Or make a new friend at the bar simply by admiring his jewellery (hence the title of this blog). It is a safe, friendly haven for a single Goddess seeking a quiet drink in a classy joint, close to home.

The gay community here is just that, a community. It delves into mainstream society for important issues and business reasons but, for the most part, it is a world unto itself here in Vallarta. Everyone knows everyone else, who's breaking up, who's hooking up, who's on the prowl. It is a little bit less intense and a little less desperate than the scene in Toronto. I'm sure it has a lot to do with the fact that a lot of the visiting men are on vacation and simply relaxing in a warm, sunny spot. Their nightclubs are fun and generally packed most nights of the week, especially this time of year. I feel fortunate to be accepted by this interesting pocket of the Vallarta social scene.

I Really AM A Goddess!

From www.bubble.com:

Your Week Ahead - Saturday, 12th November 2005
LIBRA (Sep 24 - Oct 23)

The ancients believed that, sometimes, gods and goddesses would come down from their dwelling place in the astral realm and assume a mortal guise. These days, few of us entertain such grandiose notions. If such heavenly beings were in our midst, surely we would notice, wouldn't we? Hmmm. Not, perhaps, if we actually were one of them. What if that's who you were - but you had temporarily forgotten your divine status? Am I really trying to suggest that you might have such lofty origins? Well, it certainly would explain a lot. Try acting, this week, as if you have the authority and charisma of a deity. You will be amazed at how far it gets you!

I never had any doubt ... LOL

A Day Of Remembrance

I remember spending a lot of time at the townhouse in Waterloo that housed my Uncle Ken and his family after they moved up from Windsor when I was a young teenager in the early 1970s. My seven counsins formed a noisy, rambunctious crowd so different from my own small family and I loved spending time with them. My cousins Marggie and Teresa became the sisters I never had. I knew I qualified as family simply by being Uncle Bob's daughter. But the love and attention shown to me by my Uncle Ken and Aunt Theresa indicated that I had become an honourary member of their brood as well.

I remember the late nights at my childhood home with my parents playing cards with my Aunt and Uncle for hours. I remember the sound of my Dad banging the cards on the kitchen table, the clink of highball glasses and the smell of my Uncle Ken's cigarettes. I also remember the commotion that resulted whenever my Mom and Aunt Theresa beat my Dad and Uncle Ken at euchre. The men loudly accused the women of cheating in order to win and this caused a lot of laughter. I struggled to stay awake so I could listen to them laughing.

I remember the road trips I made with Maggie and T-Bird to London after my Aunt and Uncle moved there in the early 1980s. Aunt Theresa often had some story to tell us about her latest attempt to scare Uncle Ken by hiding behind the door at the top of the stairs, then jumping out and yelling "BOO". Uncle Ken always had some homemade craft to show me, like the infamous "footstool" with real running shoes on the legs of the stool. I never found it difficult to sweet talk him into making me one of his lemon meringue pies.

I remember a visit from my Uncle Ken after I moved to Ottawa, before he retired from the Post Office. He was in Ottawa on business and he took me out to dinner at a revolving restaurant. We had a grand time talking about family and the "olden" days. We laughed like hell when we discovered my purse had remained intact on the window ledge while we circled the restaurant for over an hour.

I remember my Dad and I meeting my Uncle Ken, along with Aunt Theresa and many of my cousins on King Street in Waterloo across from the Ali Baba Steakhouse to watch the Oktoberfest parade every Thanksgiving Monday. My Dad and Uncle Ken entertained the crowd with their jibes and catcalls to participants in the parade, especially the mayor and hockey celebrities. I can still see the pride on my Uncle Ken's face and the tears in his eyes as he sat at attention in his wheelchair, saluting the dwindling number of veterans marching past us.

I remember going to see him in the London Veterans Hospital after his stroke and seeing the sparkle in his eye and the smile on his face when he saw me. His mind remained sharp as did his tongue. I pitied the nurses from my exalted status as his niece. I tried to talk him into moving closer so we could see him more often but he was stubborn to the end and insisted on ending his days in London.

I remember my cousin Mark running up to our car in the church parking lot after the funeral for my Dad's older brother on that cold November day and handing my Dad a photo through the open window. I remember my Dad looking at the photo and then telling Mark, "Your Dad was my hero".

In loving remembrance of Kenneth Montagano who died November 2, 1998. You are still missed.

Lazy Blog

I started to blog something a couple of times but the website was really pokey so I lost what little I had. I was trying to download a Halloween photo and that's where things got bogged down. I've been very busy doing nothing. LOL I don't know where the days have gone or how I managed having a full-time job AND a social life. I remember my Mom saying the same thing when she retired. This not working for a living is great! I have time for my friends and the beach and visitors and special events and all kinds of other things. But I still haven't found time to sweep out the dust bunnies under my bed. They can wait for mañana.

Halloween was a lot of fun because I actually made an effort to get dressed up this year. I went as a gypsy which is kind of appropriate given my way of life. A couple of the Goddesses were in town for Girls Week at Casa Isabel so we went to a great party up there (good food and a live Mariachi Band!) and then headed down to Andales which has always had a reputation as being Halloween Central on October 31st.



Other than that, I've been busy going to the beach twice a week and reading a lot of books. I'm helping a friend type because she can't (carpel tunnel) and have volunteered once again for the R.I.S.E. Benefit in February. I've seen three movies this past week: two at the cinema and one at Que?Pasa. My days are full. I am happy and feeling very relaxed. How are you?

The Night the Federales Came-A-Calling ... !!!

Have you ever been betrayed so badly by a friend that it hurt your heart?

I met Medina and Randy shortly after my arrival in Mexico. They drove down from BC around the same time and we immediately became fast and furious friends. As is the case when a single woman becomes friends with a couple, I bonded more deeply with Medina but remained extremely friendly and close to Randy. Sometimes, Medina would complain about their relationship and, like a big sister, I would listen and offer advice when asked.

After they returned to Canada, I stayed in touch with them. Medina and I traded long, chatty emails, keeping each other abreast of what was happening in our lives and relationships. She and Randy went through their rough patches and I figuratively held her hand and commisserated with her on the general stupidity of men. That doesn't mean we don't love them; we just don't always understand them.

So when she told me many, many months later that she had reconnected with her old beau Jim and had gone to see him, I wasn't exactly surprised. Medina was subject to flights of fancy and often committed her own special acts of stupidity when it came to matters concerning the opposite sex. Finally, things were so desperate, she decided to return to Vallarta for a couple of months to get her head on straight.

I was so excited to see her and to be able to spend time with her. She arrived and I helped her move into the condo that she had rented. I introduced her to some of my friends and she latched on to one in particular, Jeff, which I thought was strange since she was coming down to sort out her feelings for two other men but she assured me the new friendship was platonic and I believed her. I still have questions about Jeff's motives but I will put his actions down to loneliness.

Frankly, I believed everything she told me. I allowed her frequent and unlimited access to my apartment when I was at work. I let her use my VOIP phone to call back to Canada as well as free use of my laptop with highspeed internet. However, I started noticing that every time I came home from a long day at work, they were in my apartment. He was watching TV and she was using the computer or the phone. They started showing up in the mornings before I even had a chance to get ready for work and I finally mentioned that their prescence was getting a little intrusive.

She immediately became defensive and we had words. I let her cool down and then told her that I valued my privacy and felt that she was abusing my favour. She capitulated and we came to an agreement over decreased access to my place. Jeff and I shared the VOIP phone and, while I didn't mind his using it, I drew the line at everyone else in the neighbourhood using it. I was especially incensed to come home one night to make a phone call only to find another woman, Marlys, using my phone at his place, without my permission.

Now I was getting pissed. I decided it was gross misuse of my generosity and a blatant infringement of my personal property! I forbade everyone, including Medina, from using my phone or computer when I wasn't there to supervise. Since no one felt comfortable making phone calls when I was around listening, this effectively put a stop to everything, or so I thought.

One night I came home earlier than expected and overhead Medina's distraught voice in Jeff's apartment. I went up the stairs and realized I could only hear one half of the conversation. I therefore concluded that she was on the phone with someone. When she called him Randy, I realized she was again using my phone directly against my wishes. I snuck into my place without turning on the lights and lifted the receiver -- they were indeed violating my directive. She heard the click and sounded panicked, afraid I was home and would catch her in the act. Randy was appalled to find out that she was using the service without my knowledge and immediately wanted to hang up. Randy is a stand up guy.

I left my place and hung out at the bottom of the stairwell by Jeff's place, waiting for her to come out. By this time, she was staying in an apartment in our complex, one floor above Jeff, so I knew she would be heading up there. I whipped up the stairs behind her and before she could turn around to close her door, I was in her living room, ready to confront her.

I scared the crap out of her. Good, I thought. I wanted back my keys but couldn't resist the opportunity to tell her exactly what I thought of her and her lies. She tried to deny everything but it was impossible -- I had her dead to rights. The keys were on the coffee table and as I reached down to get them, I realized that I really didn't know this person and had been deceived by her over and over again. I was disgusted by the sight of her and knew our friendship was over.

"Oh, what the hell" I said and slapped her hard across her smug, fat, lying face.

I don't know who was more surprised -- her or me but the satisfactory sting on the palm of my hand let me know that the slap bore the full weight of my disappointment and sense of betrayal. I turned on my heel and slammed the door on my way out. I could feel the clang in my heart as the door closed on our friendship forever.

I went back home, called Randy and told him everything. I called my friend Kathy because I was too wired to go to sleep. While on the phone with her, I heard a ruckus downstairs, footsteps on my staircase and an authoritative knock at the door. A man's voice shouted "POLICIA!" and I told Kathy I had to go because the police were at my door. (She told me later she nearly had a heart attack.)

I opened the door to two Federales (the dreaded corrupt Mexican police) on my stairs and the triumverate of Jeff, Marlys and a hysterical Medina at the bottom. All of a sudden, I was calm. My breathing had returned to normal and I was able to summon enough Spanish to converse intelligently and coherently with the cops. I told them it was a misunderstanding, that she had property of mine I wanted back, in particular my keys, which I had. I told them I was satisfied and didn't want anything more to do with her -- she was not my friend.

Obviously, the police have much more important things to do than to involve themselves in the problems of two crazy "gringas" so they shrugged and left. I suppose the fact that I was cool while Medina was hysterical had something to do with it. I quietly closed the door and called Kathy back. She came and got me so I stayed at her place that night.

Medina left Mexico two days later because she was so afraid of me and I haven't heard from her since. Randy finally broke up with her and has moved on with his life. I am happy to report that he is doing well and we remain friends to this day.

First Week of Freedom

I keep reading these really cool horoscopes for myself at www.bubble.com. Here is the latest for October 27, 2005:

You may still be in the same town, but you have reached the station and boarded a train. Any moment now, it is going to pull out and start trundling down the track. Prepare for a new venture - and a new adventure, too. You are finally in a position to honour promises that you made to yourself long ago.

A good friend of mine reminded me the other night that when I initially came down here, I was planning to relax for six months like a long term seasonal tourist. Unfortunately, that never happened since I started working a month later and now it is two years later! However, I now have the opportunity to do exactly what I set out to do in the very beginning and that's just what I plan to do.

Actually, I've been quite busy since I stopped working and wonder now how I ever managed to have a social life AND a full-time job. I remember my Mom telling me the same thing when she retired. Her life just kind of "filled up" with things to do. And before you ask, I am NOT sleeping in since it is virtually impossible to do so. The construction workers next door start every morning around 8:30AM which is when the sun peeks over the mountains. With the change in time this weekend, I am assuming they will be starting at 7:30AM next week which will be a good excuse for me to get up and out for a walk on the Malecon!

Daily Life

This is my horoscope for today, courtesy of www.bubble.com:

Peace, love, harmony and understanding? Actually, this weekend, that's quite possible. Not, of course, for a long time. That kind of thing never lasts... but it should prevail long enough to get a sensible conversation held and an important agreement reached. It may even help give rise to an inspiring idea. After which, there'll just be the same old impossible lifestyle to lead. Even here, though, there's hope. The next challenge you face will be one you enjoy rising to - not least because it ends in success.

I am feeling very relaxed and happy this morning. I just keep thinking of all the great things I can do now that I'm not working. And I've started on a few projects around the house too. Currently, I am defrosting the freezer. Normally, I would push the little red button in my fridge and come home to a small lake of cold water in my livingroom. Today, I have the freezer door wide open and am doing it the "old fashioned" way with a spatula! Hehe ... nice work on a hot day. I'm also going through my closet, sorting my clothes for the consignment shop, hoping to make a few pesos selling some stuff that I don't wear anymore.

Anyway, I have a busy day planned. The chiropractor is coming over this afternoon to adjust me and hopefully, now that I'm not working anymore, my neck, back, shoulders, arms and hands will heal. We're off to a restaurant opening early this evening for free drinks and nibblies and then probably down to the beach somewhere for a "cocktail" around sunset time. My biggest fear is getting bored so I will have to keep myself busy with something challenging. I'm thinking volunteer work but I'll have to talk to a few people before I decide what I want to do. Your opinions and suggestions are always welcome! :)

Change Is Good!

Many of you are probably wondering what I'm going to do next. As you know, I've been living in Puerto Vallarta, off and on, for the past two years. My trip home for 4.5 months during the summer of 2004 was very depressing for me and I couldn't wait to come back here. After my trip home this summer (2005), the exact opposite happened! I found I didn't want to leave Canada and come back here. Unfortunately, I had responsibilities in Vallarta to my job and had an apartment to deal with as well. So I reluctantly came back to Mexico in late July. I was hoping that by returning here, I would be able to get a clearer picture or feeling of what I wanted for my future.

One thing is certain -- I want to travel and see more of the world. Europe is calling to me; specifically Spain (now that I can speak the language), Italy (family history), Greece (who can forget Shirley Valentine?) and Ireland (more family history). Travel to Europe from Mexico is difficult for several reasons: (1) I simply don't make enough money down here to afford a ticket to Europe. (2) The only time I have off is during the summer, which is primetime everywhere else. (3) It is difficult to get anywhere from Vallarta without connecting through another airport, adding even more expense to the trip.

I will therefore be returning to Canada to live. From there, my dreams of trans-Atlantic travel can become a reality. And to be totally honest, I miss my country! I think it took a couple of years in Mexico to help me realize just how great it is living in Canada. I miss my life there -- the variety, the cleanliness, the feeling of belonging somewhere and being a part of something that is an intrinsic part of me. I even miss the hustle and bustle of living in a big, bad city like Toronto. I don't know how I can explain it without drawing comparisons between Mexico and Canada and I am really loathe to do that. And of course, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss my friends and family back home.

Living here has taught me a lot about myself and shown me that what I am capable of doing. I actually accomplished a lot more than I set out to do. Initially, I was coming here for a six month vacation but became much more entrenched by working and living here full-time. I feel now that I am equipped to deal with anything that might come my way. I will never regret making the decision to come here or staying as long as I have.

As far as the timing of departure goes, I quit my job last week and was done work today. I hope to continue living here simply as a "tourist" for the next six months and then plan to accompany a friend on the drive back to Canada, making a few scenic stops along the way and enjoying the experience to its fullest. I just wanted to put you in the loop and elicit your good vibes for my the next part of my journey. Thank you for all your love and support along the way.

Great Day!

Today was a beautiful Vallarta kind of day. Sunny, clear, breezy and hot! But not humid or it seemed less humid than it has been for the last week. Medina and I decided that a beach day was in order so we met at La Caretta at 10:30AM. She brought Frida, her 13 week old Chihuahua and we had fun watching her explore the sand and the sea. Actually, the ocean proved to be a bit too much for her so we watched her goof around all day, eating everything she could find and trying to intimidate much bigger dogs from getting too close to us. She's so entertaining I call her the Chihuahua Channel -- much better than TV! :)


We spent 7 hours at the beach and I got a bit of colour but not really burned. I'm just sort of bronzed and very, very tired. On the way home, on the corner of Naranjo and Cardenas, there was a large puddle on the corner, just beside the curb. As I strolled by, I saw 5 sparrows frollicking in the water, splashing in their makeshift bathtub. I don't know why but it just made my day and my face lit up with the biggest, goofiest smile. Sometimes Mother Nature really has a sweet way of putting things into perspective for you, doesn't she? What a Goddess ...