Watch Your Speed Ma'am!

A friend of mine was having tremendous difficulty with his internet provider here in Vallarta. He also has the same VOIP service as me so he was very frustrated at not being able to use his phone effectively. Someone told him about a website where you can check your speed. He did so and found out that he was running at the LOWEST speed (192 kbps) instead of the HIGHEST speed (512 kbps) even though he had been paying for the faster service all along. He finally contacted the President of the corporation and arranged to meet him at the local office and demanded they show him the speed. He was right; they were wrong. They offered him one month free and he's had no problems since. Anyway, if you want to check your own speed, pick the city closest to you at this website: Speedtest. And if you've still having problems, call your ISP ASAP!

I called yesterday to check on my speed and to complain about the crappy service on the weekend (pages loading slowly, unable to get online at all, the phone was going dead, etc.). Five minutes after I called to ask for help, I lost my internet entirely so my afternoon was spent wasting precious cell phone minutes on hold with CosmoRed. The situation was so bad, the tech, Ernesto, came by my house last night to check my modem. It was no coincidence that I lost my service five minutes after speaking to him and reiterated again this morning that I thought "the problem is at your end". Anyway, after much back and forth with him, he finally admitted he found the problem and it was not (1) my modem (2) the cable (3) my VOIP router and/or (4) the full moon.

INSERT ONE BIG FAT HEAVY SIGH HERE PLEASE!

Anyway, on to more delicious things ... Kathy, Colleen and I had our usual lunch on Monday but as we approached the cash register to pay, Hank told us that lunch was on him! We've been faithfully showing up there every Monday for months now and he rewarded us today with a free lunch. How about that for customer appreciation? I can't say enough about these guys (Hank and Conrad) and their wonderful restaurant. I will miss them so much when I leave here ... :(

I've been going to a lot of movies lately. Most recently, I've seen Syriana (too complicated with half the Arabic dialogue being translated into Spanish subtitles only); Rumour Has It (cute flick with Jenn Anniston and Mark Ruffalo -- Kevin Costner is a dud, as usual, and Shirley McLean's face is contorted from too much plastic surgery); Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (excellent chemistry between the two males leads, Robert Downey Jr. and Val Kilmer) and Pride and Prejudice. P&P was a delight for the senses. Colleen and I came out of movie theatre swooning, believing in love, romance and men in knee high boots with tight britches.

Sneak Peak

I've created a new blog and was going to ask you for suggestions on what to call it but then I thought, "What the hell? I know the perfect name!"

Metro Goddess

Enjoy!

Sometimes Even I Make Sense!

This is something I posted on a dating website on a thread about woman over 40 and their dating insecurities.

I think the greatest gift I gave myself was permission to trust my own instincts. If something doesn't feel right, for whatever reason, I trust that feeling. If someone says or does something that makes me uncomfortable, I take that into consideration before deciding whether I want to continue with this person in my life -- whether they be a friend or a lover.

People can have all the confidence in the world in their job, raising their children, singing in the choir, but there is something about interpersonal relationships, especially those with the opposite sex, that makes us throw everything we know out the window. I think it is important NOT to do that.

I also believe that age has nothing to do with it. I've dated men 20 years younger and 30 years older. The only difference I've found is muscle tone! LOL You are the only person who can guard your heart. It is your most precious commodity. You need to REALLY know the person to whom you are giving it.

Never, EVER shortchange yourself and think that being in a relationship, ANY relationship, is better than being alone. I will take being alone over an inappropriate relationship any day of the week. And that is the kind of confidence you need to have if you're going to be successful in dating and finding someone to love.

One Month To Go!!!

I blew a fuse yesterday. No, I didn't get angry, I literally blew a fuse. I had the CD player on and when I turned on my blowdryer, the lights went out. Good thing it was the middle of the day! I went downstairs to talk to my neighbour Estelle since we share the electricity bill and she still had power so we walked down to the fuse box and I reached up to open it since she is too short. Inside were two fuses. One looked almost brand new. The other one had disintegrated so much you could hardly recognize it as a fuse. She really alarmed me when she reached in and started rooting around the box, trying to dig out the fuse.

Then she yelled down the hall to our other neighbour who arrived brandishing a HUGE butcher knife! Estelle started using the butcher knife to dig out the fuse. I kept backing further and further away from the box, expecting a big explosion! Finally, Estelle handed me the fuse, in two pieces, and explained that I needed to go to the hardware store to buy a new fuse. I was almost ready for my lunch with the girls and figured the stuff in the freezer would keep until I got back. As I was getting ready to leave, Estelle came to my door and said she would go to the store so I gave her some money and she went, bought the fuse, brought it back and inserted it. Bingo, bango, bongo ... the lights went on! I have very nice neighbours ... :)

My friend "P" (not using her real name in order to protect her identity) got stopped the other day by the police for running a red light. We often hear stories down here of the police stopping people with non-Mexican license plates for various unsubstantiated reasons and demanding money in exchange for letting them go. This is what we call a bribe, but in Mexico, it is called paying a "mordida". Anyway, the cop asks her for $500 pesos (over $50CDN). She knew she was in the wrong but she didn't have $500 pesos. She only had $100 pesos. He dropped the price to $200 pesos but when she showed him she only had $100 pesos, he took it. My friend is quite the bargainer ... I think I want to go shopping with her! *smile*

What else is going on? More of my friends have experienced thefts in their homes. The primary targets seem to be small expensive objects: laptops, gold jewellery, cameras, etc. While filing police reports, they have been told by the local constabulary that all these thefts are drug related. Drug addicts looking for quick money to support their nasty habit. Thank goodness no one has been hurt ... yet. And anyone out there reading this who thinks that drugs and crime in Mexico are not related, think again. And get your head out of your ass while you're at it. I am doubly thankful for our newly gated entrance and my ever vigilant neighbours!

Counting Down the Days to Departure

I just got off the phone with Signature Vacations here in Vallarta and they confirmed that there are over 150 seats left on the flight out of here on April 14 so it looks like we might have to rename the flight "Goddess Air"!

The Goddesses arrive three weeks from today and are staying for two weeks. I am hoping to fly back with them so they can help me with all my stuff. It looks like things might actually happen that way. I'm so friggin' excited!!!

DAD, CAN YOU PICK ME UP AT THE AIRPORT??? *GRIN*

What's YOUR Sign?

Tuesday, 7th March 2006 - LIBRA (Sep 24 - Oct 23)
Like a goldfish in a bowl or a knight in a suit of armour, is your relationship with the outside world a little peculiar? Are you stuck, trapped, insular? You may feel remote from something you would like to be more deeply involved with. But you are not absent, or powerless or helpless. Don't underestimate the extent of the influence you wield. Don't doubt the importance of the role you are playing. Don't worry about anything. You are better protected - and better connected - than you know.

People seem to think that I don't like Mexico any more! Nothing could be further from the truth. I just realize it is time to move on. I will definitely miss all of my wonderful friends here (you know who you are!) and the fabulous restaurants which have become my favourites over the years. I will also miss the gay bars. I have so much fun in them -- it should really be illegal! LOL And I'm sure next February, I will be missing the weather but hopefully I will be so busy planning my next trip, the winter months will fly by and I will be on my way to somewhere exotic. I simply cannot wait to start the next part of my journey ...

Another Monday Morning

The great thing about being on holidays is that Monday mornings don't strike terror into your heart like they do when you're working. You don't have that feeling of dread when you go to bed on Sunday nights and you can sleep in, which I did this morning. The most taxing thing on my schedule for today is getting to my lunch date with the girls at Chiles at 1PM. I'm usually late ...

Actually, now that I've lived here for over two years, I find myself being late for most things and I don't know why. I've always been a very punctual person. I guess the difference is now I priorize my punctuality. If I am late for lunch with the girls, they will just start without me. If I'm late for a beach date, my friends will still be there regardless of whether I show up or not.

But Monday mornings still have the ability to make me think about my week in advance and plan a few things to keep me going. So here is how my week is shaping up so far: Monday - lunch; Tuesday - beach; Wednesday - party at Viva; Thursday - lunch; Friday - beach again maybe; Saturday - quien sabes? (who knows?). As you can see, I lead a pretty exciting life.

Someone recently noted that I seemed to be burning some bridges down here and I'm wondering if maybe I am. Not consciously of course, but maybe more as a defence mechanism to avoid saying goodbye. You know, get people so pissed off at you that you don't have to actually go through the whole goodbye thing. I think they call it separation anxiety.

I don't feel particularly anxious though. I know I have a lot to do before I can leave. The thought of packing up 2+ years of life down here and somehow trying to move it back to Canada in bits and pieces seems daunting but I know I'll do it. That's what living down here has done for me, given me the confidence to know that whatever I attempt, I will be able accomplish it, in some form or another.

Anyway, I hope your Monday morning is a cheery one and if not, maybe this post will give you some food for thought. To all of my blog readers, have a wonderful day and a fabulous week. I promise to try to do something exciting so that I can blog at you again soon! :)

Violence In Vallarta

After the ghastly murders of two Canadians in Cancun, while on vacation for their daughter's wedding, I've decided to post a version of something I wrote last fall, after making my decision to return to live in Canada. Today, I sent this to the Toronto Star in response to their "Speak Out" section regarding those recent events:

After living in Vallarta for over two years now, I realize my feeling of safety here was an illusion. With the tremendous growth and the large amount of nationals moving here from other parts of Mexico, crime is on the increase. People MUST be aware of everything going on around them, especially women.

The language barrier and cultural differences make things even more dangerous. So, if there is a chance that I might become a victim of a violent crime, I would rather it happened in my own country. At least there, my support network is in place and the authorities speak the same language as me. And the police force is not more corrupt than the criminals they are trying to apprehend.

Walk The Line

Just saw it and LOVED IT!!! If you get a chance, go see it. The performances of the two leads are excellent (probably why they both got nominated for Academy Awards).

Some trivia for you: Johnny proposed to June on February 22, 1968 at a concert at the London Gardens in London, Ontario. It was an old hockey arena and the concert was attened by about 5,000 people.

Oh, and a quote from Mr. Cash: "I did not vote for Mr. Bush, let's leave it at that."

A Rant On Smoking

I'm an ex-smoker. I never smoked a lot and I never smoked before noon. I have made a conscious choice to have very few friends who are smokers (you know who you are and when are you quitting?). I am a very fanantical non-smoker. I think one of the main reasons I am returning to Canada is because of the strict non-smoking laws there. In Mexico, there are very few laws with respect to smoking. You can smoke almost anywhere and people usually do. My friends Amy and Ben have a non-smoking cafe and they still get looks of disbelief from their smoking patrons when they are asked to smoke outside. Apparently, it is offensive to them to be asked to smoke away from the food being prepared and other clients enjoying their meals.

Sometimes I think that all the smokers from NOTB are coming to Mexico so that they can smoke more freely. Cigarettes cost less here too. As a result, I am not a very happy camper most of the time. It doesn't matter where I am outside -- at the beach, out for lunch, in a bar -- the smoke will always come straight towards me. Kind of like the way dogs jump all over my Mom because she doesn't like them. My biggest pet peeve about smoking is people who don't understand that when they smoke, they are endangering the lives of the people around then. By NOT smoking, I am hurting no one. I have zero tolerance for smoking and just cancelled a six day road trip because the driver is a smoker.

When I return to Canada, I will be looking for a job. I think one of the questions I will ask prospective employers is, "What is your smoking policy?" If they tell me they allow their employees to take smoke breaks, I am going to ask them, "What is in it for me? What benefits will I receive as a non-smoker? Will I be able to leave my desk half a dozen times a day and ask my co-workers to do my work for me? Or will I actually get paid MORE for being the type of employee who stays at her desk for the requisite seven hours a day?" If not, I guess I won't be working for them for long, if at all.

GO CANADA!

I'm just feeling patriotic today, especially with respect to the Olympics, and hoping for a medal in men's hockey.



Edited to add that I caught the last period of the Canada/Russia game (which we lost 2-0) at Steve's Bar and got to shake the hand of the guy sitting beside me. He was FROM Russia and the only one in the bar cheering for them (with a flag too!). Small world here in Vallarta ... you never know who you are going to meet. BTW, he now thinks Canadians are pretty cool too. :)

You Know It's Going To Be A Good Day When ...

I woke up this morning with no hot water. Actually, I knew yesterday that I was probably out of gas but started thinking that maybe the painters just turned off my water heater while they were painting around it. I lit the pilot and turned it up to high but, unlike the Olympic torch, it would not stay lit. So I decided to call the gas company. I did this the last time I ran out and my Spanish has improved to the point where I can actually carry on a simple conversation over the phone. Of course, I called too early. What was I thinking? Imagine a business like the Gas Company being open before 9AM on a Monday morning! Sometime I forget I'm in Mexico ... LOL

Anyway, as I am sitting here, looking stupid and wondering how a cold shower would feel, I hear the little singsong that accompanies the gas truck as it patrols the neighbourhood, looking for customers who don't like cold showers. "ES GAS!!!" Ding, ding ding ... that would be me. I ran down the stairs and as I unlocked the door to the street, they were just passing by the corner and caught my wave. Sure beats jumping in a car and chasing after them all over town as some of my friends have been known to do! Anyway, within five minutes I had a full tank of gas and my hot water heater is heating up even as we speak. Unfortunately, the cost was close to $300 pesos so I guess my massage will have to wait for another day ...

What a CROC!

When is the last time you went to a party and received a free pair of shoes? That's what happened to me yesterday at Joe Jack's Fish Shack. Brenda Retzlaff has opened one of two new Croc stores here in Puerto Vallarta and she held her media event party to kick off her new venture. Edited to add Brenda's email: brenda@crocsmexico.com (in case you would like to contact her directly).

Why was I invited? I haven't got a clue unless you consider the fact that: (1) I love shoes and (2) I know everyone she doesn't. LOL My particular pair were "Hecho en Canada" so I was pretty pleased about that little coincidence. And they're RED so they match my boa. I'm not entirely sold on them yet (they're pretty ugly) but I will give them a fair try and let you know what I think. And yes Heidi, you can try them on when you get here! (We're the same size.)

BTW, the nearest Croc store to me in Vallarta is conveniently located on V. Carranza #491 across from the Colin butchershop and almost kitty korner to El Brujo Restaurant. Here is the website.

Poll For My Readers

I'm getting fancy, schmancy with the blog again. Check out the minipoll on the right and exercise your right to vote! :)

All comments welcome but the ones I don't like will be deleted. After all, it's my blog. Hahahahahahahaha!!!

Blue Skies, From Now On ...

I want to plug my Dad's part-time "business" (he retired finally last month at age 73!!!). He's always been crazy about airplanes and was in the RCAF. And I've been going to airshows since I was little ...

Anyway, he's working with a guy online to sell aviation art prints and aircraft models. The website is www.blueskygear.com. Check under Aircraft Models (5 different areas of interest) and Aviation Art Prints.

He's also got a toll free number (1-866-202-1252) in Canada and the U.S. or you can email him directly at aeroart@sgci.com. His name is Bob Montagano. I just know there are some airplane enthusiasts out there!

Pepperoni and Peru

Before the holidays, I sent out a plea for pepperoni. I haven't been able to find it down here anywhere and I had a craving. Someone heard me and brought me 1.5 kgs of the stuff on Saturday January 28th. I've been in pepperoni heaven ever since! Pepperoni for breakfast, pepperoni for snacks, pepperoni whenever I feel like it. The best part is that it is Schneiders pepperoni, made in good old Kitchener, Ontario, Canada (my hometown).

I had lunch today at Chiles with my friend Colleen. Coll is my very first internet friend. We met here in PV over four years ago and have stayed in close touch ever since. She just got back from two miraculous weeks in Peru so she brought her laptop to lunch and showed me all of her photos. INCREDIBLE is all I can say. South America is now officially on my "must see" list of places in the world.

Gringo Gulch Goddess

I've been living the high life in Gringo Gulch for a week and a half now, housesitting for my friends on Calle Miramar. I am familiar with the house, having stayed here a couple of times before, but there are two new additions: (1) The rooftop terrace has been completely re-done with a wet bar, bathroom and improved seating area. This is my favourite place to hang out during a sunny afternoon while reading my book. (2) They have a new dog. Xochi (pronounced Zoe-CHEE) has been with the family for a year. She is a Rottweiler and we are getting along fine. I think she is enjoying all the attention I have been lavishing on her since I got here. I have satellite TV, wireless internet, my own bedroom with en suite bathroom, overlooking the bay, and all the other amenities of living in a Mexican hacienda.

To be honest, I can't wait to get back to my crummy, little apartment! I hate living out of a suitcase and the bed here is not as comfortable as mine. The house is really, REALLY big (four bedrooms, 7 bathrooms, pool, etc.). I'm feeling a little lost. I keep mainly to my room where I have my computer set up, the terrace, the den and the kitchen. I sometimes close all the doors in the house and let the dog run up and down the stairwell. It gives her exercise and she keeps me company. The housekeeper and her husband come in every day for a couple of hours and while I understand this is their job, I miss my privacy on those mornings when I want to lounge around in my PJs.

Actually, I haven't been doing too much lounging. I've been busy helping to organize this year's fundraiser for the Refugio Infantil Santa Esperanza (R.I.S.E.). We have confirmed the Marina Vallarta Club de Golf as the location for this year's benefit on February 18 between 5:00 and 9:00 p.m. Tickets are $450 pesos and include food, refreshments (beer, wine, soda pop and bottled water) and entertainment. Participating restaurants this year include: Cafe des Artistes, Daquiri Dick's, River Cafe, El Dorado, Tia Catrina and many others! Tickets are available at Que?Pasa and other locations around town. Or you can contact me at montyjam@gmail.com. Come on out to this worthy event and help support the kids!

Beware Of Skinny Men! LOL

Bucerias (Boo-sir-REE-as)

I went to Bucerias today with some out of town friends. Vera and her husband Bill have been here since last Monday. Vera has been here once before, over a year ago, and Bill has never been here. They are great fun! They are up to doing anything I suggest and even took the bus to Pitillal (a true Mexican neighbourhood) by themselves the other day just to "look around". They somehow ended up in Ixtapa (north of the airport) but had a wonderful time retelling their story that evening over dinner. Bill has been peppering me with questions since he arrived. Most of them I can answer but some of them I can't. He is very inquisitive, open-minded and interested. In my opinion, this makes a very good tourist.

I thought it would be nice to take them to a pretty beach for the day, since they are leaving tomorrow. My other friends, Mike and Zdenka (long term seasonal tourists here), decided to join us. OH! Before I go any further, I want to put in a plug for Los Tres Delphines (The Three Dolphins) just off Olas Altas near the Los Arcos Suites Hotel. We ate dinner there last night and all had one of the specials. Four of us had shrimp and Bill had beef fajitas (he is allergic to shellfish). Each dinner came on a platter with rice and steamed veggies. We all had 10-12 large shrimp done different ways (garlic butter, breaded, el diablo). One drink was included in the price of dinner which was only 90 PESOS! The food and service were excellent. Cute location too with a lot of plants and terrific bathrooms. :)

Anyway, we caught the city bus in front of Cine Bahia just before 10AM. We transferred to the ATM bus across the street from Coppel department store, at the HSBC bank. The cost was 4.5 pesos for the city bus and 10 pesos for the ATM bus. Total cost for the return trip was 29 pesos or just over $3CDN. We travelled for one hour to downtown Bucerias. Once off the bus, we walked west, towards the Bay, down the "main drag" in Bucerias which is actually a two lane street with a boulevard down the middle. We walked to the waterfront, searching for a restaurant with beach access, good food and reasonable prices. I chose El Chivero for a couple of reasons. It wasn't crowded, they had a palapa at the back by the beach for shade with loungers and they had drink specials: 5 beers for 45 pesos in a bucket and 2 for 1 tropical drinks for 45 pesos (***Goddesses, PLEASE TAKE NOTE!!!***).

The menu was quite extensive with various dishes of seafood, chicken, beef and fish. Prices were very reasonable (30 pesos for tortilla soup, $60 pesos for chicken quesadillas and $70 pesos for beef fajitas). For the record, the tortilla soup was one of the best I've ever had! Tons of avocado (which I love), cheese, sour cream and tortillas in a light tomato base. It was a little bit salty but I'm wondering now if that was the cheese. The chicken quesadillas were tasty, greasy and served with beans and guac. Pop and coffee were $10 pesos each and Diet Coke was $15 pesos a bottle. The bill for all of us was $400 pesos for the day. We never did order any beer ... the beach was lovely and goes for miles in both directions ... the waves were a little high but not as bad as Los Muertos. All in all, a wonderful day with wonderful friends.

Tequila and Magdelena

My friends Debbie and Jim were here recently for a vacation and we decided to rent a car for a couple of days so we could drive to Tlaquepaque. The ride itself is not for the faint of heart -- kilometres of steep, winding hills which mean agony to this motion-sick-prone Goddess. This time of year, Guadalajara and Tlaquepaque are gorgeous during the day (sunny and 25C with no humidity) but the nights can be quite cold. I took jeans, boots, a long sleeved shirt and a jacket and I was still cold! The other disadvantage to going this time of year was that all the restaurants close early (or at least they did on Monday night). I've had better trips there.



On the upside were our two stops on the way back. First we stopped in Tequila and found the centre of town without a problem (just followed a van filled with tourists!). We parked and wandered over to the Jose Cuervo tequila factory/distillery. They have guided tours on the hour for an hour. We arrived just after 11AM and didn't want to hang around for the tour at noon so we settled for cruising through the gift shop, the tequila store and generally snooping into every room without a locked door. This place is immense and a lot of money went into designing the buildings and grounds. Large flat screen TVs were hung on the walls throughout the building, promoting tequila in English and Spanish. For a glimpse into the world of Cuervo Tequila, go to their slick website here. I also found an interesting article at this link with photos.

We had a bit of trouble getting out of town and headed in the wrong direction up a very bumpy cobblestone street! Once turned around, we found the hospital again (I always use them as landmarks) and stopped to ask someone how to get back on the highway to Magdelena. A few minutes later we were on our way. FYI, there is a toll road between Guadalajara and Puerto Vallarta but there is also the original highway which is two lanes and not as direct. This was the road that took us to the mining town famous for Mexican fire opals. Jim was able to find a parking spot in the middle of town so we parked and headed out. I thought there might be stores one block beyond the centre of town (less frequented = better deals) but no such luck. Once past the school, I spotted a shop off the main road and we went in.

Seated behind a desk, polishing obsidian paperweights, was an older woman with a broken arm. When I asked what happened, she said she fell in the store. I asked her for opal rings, set in silver, which caused her to go into the back room and reach under the bed for a leather case. After placing it on the counter with her good arm, she opened it up so Deb and I could start trying on rings. I found a couple of potentials but then happened to look in the glass case to my left and spotted a ring with channel set opals in a thick silver band. I tried it on and it fit so I bought it for $350 pesos.

I am very happy with my purchase and will treasure it forever as a momento of my trip. Jim also has a momento -- a parking ticket. Apparently we parked in the exclusive parking spot for the Minister of Finance of Magdelena. No wonder it was so easy ... LOL