I Met The Marlborough Man In A Gay Bar

One of my favourite hang outs in PV is La Noche, a small, intimate gay (but hetero-friendly) bar here on L. Cardenas. One of the bartenders is from Toronto, the martinis are KILLER (remember my birthday?) and the decor is very cool. The deep Chinese red walls are adorned with a huge wrought iron mirror and a funky candelabra hangs from the ceiling. Happy hour happens every night between 8 and 10PM. Beer is ALWAYS 2 for 1 ($25p for two). I know I can walk in alone anytime and see someone I know. Or make a new friend at the bar simply by admiring his jewellery (hence the title of this blog). It is a safe, friendly haven for a single Goddess seeking a quiet drink in a classy joint, close to home.

The gay community here is just that, a community. It delves into mainstream society for important issues and business reasons but, for the most part, it is a world unto itself here in Vallarta. Everyone knows everyone else, who's breaking up, who's hooking up, who's on the prowl. It is a little bit less intense and a little less desperate than the scene in Toronto. I'm sure it has a lot to do with the fact that a lot of the visiting men are on vacation and simply relaxing in a warm, sunny spot. Their nightclubs are fun and generally packed most nights of the week, especially this time of year. I feel fortunate to be accepted by this interesting pocket of the Vallarta social scene.

I Really AM A Goddess!

From www.bubble.com:

Your Week Ahead - Saturday, 12th November 2005
LIBRA (Sep 24 - Oct 23)

The ancients believed that, sometimes, gods and goddesses would come down from their dwelling place in the astral realm and assume a mortal guise. These days, few of us entertain such grandiose notions. If such heavenly beings were in our midst, surely we would notice, wouldn't we? Hmmm. Not, perhaps, if we actually were one of them. What if that's who you were - but you had temporarily forgotten your divine status? Am I really trying to suggest that you might have such lofty origins? Well, it certainly would explain a lot. Try acting, this week, as if you have the authority and charisma of a deity. You will be amazed at how far it gets you!

I never had any doubt ... LOL

A Day Of Remembrance

I remember spending a lot of time at the townhouse in Waterloo that housed my Uncle Ken and his family after they moved up from Windsor when I was a young teenager in the early 1970s. My seven counsins formed a noisy, rambunctious crowd so different from my own small family and I loved spending time with them. My cousins Marggie and Teresa became the sisters I never had. I knew I qualified as family simply by being Uncle Bob's daughter. But the love and attention shown to me by my Uncle Ken and Aunt Theresa indicated that I had become an honourary member of their brood as well.

I remember the late nights at my childhood home with my parents playing cards with my Aunt and Uncle for hours. I remember the sound of my Dad banging the cards on the kitchen table, the clink of highball glasses and the smell of my Uncle Ken's cigarettes. I also remember the commotion that resulted whenever my Mom and Aunt Theresa beat my Dad and Uncle Ken at euchre. The men loudly accused the women of cheating in order to win and this caused a lot of laughter. I struggled to stay awake so I could listen to them laughing.

I remember the road trips I made with Maggie and T-Bird to London after my Aunt and Uncle moved there in the early 1980s. Aunt Theresa often had some story to tell us about her latest attempt to scare Uncle Ken by hiding behind the door at the top of the stairs, then jumping out and yelling "BOO". Uncle Ken always had some homemade craft to show me, like the infamous "footstool" with real running shoes on the legs of the stool. I never found it difficult to sweet talk him into making me one of his lemon meringue pies.

I remember a visit from my Uncle Ken after I moved to Ottawa, before he retired from the Post Office. He was in Ottawa on business and he took me out to dinner at a revolving restaurant. We had a grand time talking about family and the "olden" days. We laughed like hell when we discovered my purse had remained intact on the window ledge while we circled the restaurant for over an hour.

I remember my Dad and I meeting my Uncle Ken, along with Aunt Theresa and many of my cousins on King Street in Waterloo across from the Ali Baba Steakhouse to watch the Oktoberfest parade every Thanksgiving Monday. My Dad and Uncle Ken entertained the crowd with their jibes and catcalls to participants in the parade, especially the mayor and hockey celebrities. I can still see the pride on my Uncle Ken's face and the tears in his eyes as he sat at attention in his wheelchair, saluting the dwindling number of veterans marching past us.

I remember going to see him in the London Veterans Hospital after his stroke and seeing the sparkle in his eye and the smile on his face when he saw me. His mind remained sharp as did his tongue. I pitied the nurses from my exalted status as his niece. I tried to talk him into moving closer so we could see him more often but he was stubborn to the end and insisted on ending his days in London.

I remember my cousin Mark running up to our car in the church parking lot after the funeral for my Dad's older brother on that cold November day and handing my Dad a photo through the open window. I remember my Dad looking at the photo and then telling Mark, "Your Dad was my hero".

In loving remembrance of Kenneth Montagano who died November 2, 1998. You are still missed.

Lazy Blog

I started to blog something a couple of times but the website was really pokey so I lost what little I had. I was trying to download a Halloween photo and that's where things got bogged down. I've been very busy doing nothing. LOL I don't know where the days have gone or how I managed having a full-time job AND a social life. I remember my Mom saying the same thing when she retired. This not working for a living is great! I have time for my friends and the beach and visitors and special events and all kinds of other things. But I still haven't found time to sweep out the dust bunnies under my bed. They can wait for mañana.

Halloween was a lot of fun because I actually made an effort to get dressed up this year. I went as a gypsy which is kind of appropriate given my way of life. A couple of the Goddesses were in town for Girls Week at Casa Isabel so we went to a great party up there (good food and a live Mariachi Band!) and then headed down to Andales which has always had a reputation as being Halloween Central on October 31st.



Other than that, I've been busy going to the beach twice a week and reading a lot of books. I'm helping a friend type because she can't (carpel tunnel) and have volunteered once again for the R.I.S.E. Benefit in February. I've seen three movies this past week: two at the cinema and one at Que?Pasa. My days are full. I am happy and feeling very relaxed. How are you?

The Night the Federales Came-A-Calling ... !!!

Have you ever been betrayed so badly by a friend that it hurt your heart?

I met Medina and Randy shortly after my arrival in Mexico. They drove down from BC around the same time and we immediately became fast and furious friends. As is the case when a single woman becomes friends with a couple, I bonded more deeply with Medina but remained extremely friendly and close to Randy. Sometimes, Medina would complain about their relationship and, like a big sister, I would listen and offer advice when asked.

After they returned to Canada, I stayed in touch with them. Medina and I traded long, chatty emails, keeping each other abreast of what was happening in our lives and relationships. She and Randy went through their rough patches and I figuratively held her hand and commisserated with her on the general stupidity of men. That doesn't mean we don't love them; we just don't always understand them.

So when she told me many, many months later that she had reconnected with her old beau Jim and had gone to see him, I wasn't exactly surprised. Medina was subject to flights of fancy and often committed her own special acts of stupidity when it came to matters concerning the opposite sex. Finally, things were so desperate, she decided to return to Vallarta for a couple of months to get her head on straight.

I was so excited to see her and to be able to spend time with her. She arrived and I helped her move into the condo that she had rented. I introduced her to some of my friends and she latched on to one in particular, Jeff, which I thought was strange since she was coming down to sort out her feelings for two other men but she assured me the new friendship was platonic and I believed her. I still have questions about Jeff's motives but I will put his actions down to loneliness.

Frankly, I believed everything she told me. I allowed her frequent and unlimited access to my apartment when I was at work. I let her use my VOIP phone to call back to Canada as well as free use of my laptop with highspeed internet. However, I started noticing that every time I came home from a long day at work, they were in my apartment. He was watching TV and she was using the computer or the phone. They started showing up in the mornings before I even had a chance to get ready for work and I finally mentioned that their prescence was getting a little intrusive.

She immediately became defensive and we had words. I let her cool down and then told her that I valued my privacy and felt that she was abusing my favour. She capitulated and we came to an agreement over decreased access to my place. Jeff and I shared the VOIP phone and, while I didn't mind his using it, I drew the line at everyone else in the neighbourhood using it. I was especially incensed to come home one night to make a phone call only to find another woman, Marlys, using my phone at his place, without my permission.

Now I was getting pissed. I decided it was gross misuse of my generosity and a blatant infringement of my personal property! I forbade everyone, including Medina, from using my phone or computer when I wasn't there to supervise. Since no one felt comfortable making phone calls when I was around listening, this effectively put a stop to everything, or so I thought.

One night I came home earlier than expected and overhead Medina's distraught voice in Jeff's apartment. I went up the stairs and realized I could only hear one half of the conversation. I therefore concluded that she was on the phone with someone. When she called him Randy, I realized she was again using my phone directly against my wishes. I snuck into my place without turning on the lights and lifted the receiver -- they were indeed violating my directive. She heard the click and sounded panicked, afraid I was home and would catch her in the act. Randy was appalled to find out that she was using the service without my knowledge and immediately wanted to hang up. Randy is a stand up guy.

I left my place and hung out at the bottom of the stairwell by Jeff's place, waiting for her to come out. By this time, she was staying in an apartment in our complex, one floor above Jeff, so I knew she would be heading up there. I whipped up the stairs behind her and before she could turn around to close her door, I was in her living room, ready to confront her.

I scared the crap out of her. Good, I thought. I wanted back my keys but couldn't resist the opportunity to tell her exactly what I thought of her and her lies. She tried to deny everything but it was impossible -- I had her dead to rights. The keys were on the coffee table and as I reached down to get them, I realized that I really didn't know this person and had been deceived by her over and over again. I was disgusted by the sight of her and knew our friendship was over.

"Oh, what the hell" I said and slapped her hard across her smug, fat, lying face.

I don't know who was more surprised -- her or me but the satisfactory sting on the palm of my hand let me know that the slap bore the full weight of my disappointment and sense of betrayal. I turned on my heel and slammed the door on my way out. I could feel the clang in my heart as the door closed on our friendship forever.

I went back home, called Randy and told him everything. I called my friend Kathy because I was too wired to go to sleep. While on the phone with her, I heard a ruckus downstairs, footsteps on my staircase and an authoritative knock at the door. A man's voice shouted "POLICIA!" and I told Kathy I had to go because the police were at my door. (She told me later she nearly had a heart attack.)

I opened the door to two Federales (the dreaded corrupt Mexican police) on my stairs and the triumverate of Jeff, Marlys and a hysterical Medina at the bottom. All of a sudden, I was calm. My breathing had returned to normal and I was able to summon enough Spanish to converse intelligently and coherently with the cops. I told them it was a misunderstanding, that she had property of mine I wanted back, in particular my keys, which I had. I told them I was satisfied and didn't want anything more to do with her -- she was not my friend.

Obviously, the police have much more important things to do than to involve themselves in the problems of two crazy "gringas" so they shrugged and left. I suppose the fact that I was cool while Medina was hysterical had something to do with it. I quietly closed the door and called Kathy back. She came and got me so I stayed at her place that night.

Medina left Mexico two days later because she was so afraid of me and I haven't heard from her since. Randy finally broke up with her and has moved on with his life. I am happy to report that he is doing well and we remain friends to this day.