Assume = Ass + U + Me!

I had an old boyfriend who used to say that all the time so now I never assume anything about anything -- especially in relationships. I always ask first. "Are you gay?" "Are you sure your Mom won't mind if I stay overnight?" LOL You know, that kind of thing ... (he always used to say that too!). It always amazes me how people think they know you because they read what you've written in a blog or on a Bulletin Board or in an email. We all wear masks and sometimes what you see in writing is in no way representative of someone's actual personality. I've met gregarious people online who turn out to be very shy in person. I've met some liberal typists who are very conservate in the flesh. The only way I can know someone is to look into their eyes.

A lot of people have been asking me how long I'm going to be in PV this time and I really don't know. I have a two week return ticket so I could be coming home again on October 3rd! I probably won't but the option is there. I have a job that will carry me through until Easter and beyond but it means 6.5 months without a vacation! People think because I live in Vallarta, it's like being on vacation. It's not. I work 5-6 days/nights a week. I have to do laundry. I have to buy groceries. I have to line up to pay my phone or cable bill and sometimes, that takes all day to accomplish. Most days, it is NOT like being on vacation but, as a close friend pointed out to me the other day, I can walk to the beach on my lunch hour! :)

My options are so limitless it is sometimes frightening. Living out of (let me count them piled on the floor beside me) eight boxes and a couple of suitcases does give me a certain amount of freedom but it also scares me. I feel adrift and even a little lost without "stuff" to anchor me to a certain address in a certain city. My Mom can't understand why I keep "doing this" to myself. "This" being the transition from one country to another. I have been dreading it for weeks and now it is less than 48 hours away. I know I will settle down once I get there, once I see my friends, smell the air, walk up to the ocean and hear its welcoming waves. But getting there is always a big ordeal. If I had to make a wish, I would snap my fingers and have everything in place ... luggage, acclimation, relationships ... the days are dragging by and yet, it seems like the hours are flying by. How is that possible?

I don't know what the future holds for me. "Home is where the heart is" and right now, my heart is tightly wrapped up by the strong ties I have with my friends here in Canada. My dear, sweet, wonderful friends who allow me to share my life with them. I could never have even attempted this journey without them. I thought saying goodbye would be easier this time but it isn't. I cry when I leave here and I cry when I leave Vallarta. You would think all this crying would make me weigh less because of the water loss but it doesn't! Haha! The mechanics of the move have been surprisingly effortless. It is no coincidence that things are falling into place in Vallarta so easily. It is where I'm meant to be, for now, but maybe not forever. My options are always open.